In my article ‘The Curse of Equality’, I had written about how women nowadays are caught between their careers and their families. I had argued that while society provides equal opportunities for both sexes, it must also find ways to support the womenfolk better as women have the extra responsibility of bearing children.
So, what are some of the concrete solutions we can offer to support working mothers? I have these ideas:-
l Have better childcare services
The key word here is ‘better’, not ‘more’. Let’s have a proper training system for all childcare service providers. In Japan, nursery and kindergarten teachers must be licensed. Would-be nursery and kindergarten teachers spend 2-3 years in a vocational university after high school, learning about teaching young kids. Nursery and kindergarten teaching is a well-respected profession among women. Professional teachers are better equipped to handle our young and provide proper guidance. Mothers can feel at ease leaving their kids with professionals, and can concentrate on their work better.
l Have flexible working hours
If a working mother can send her kid to a nursery/kindergarten/school before she goes to work, and can end her work in time to pick up her kid, she will be able to fulfill her responsibilities as a mother while continuing with her work. I propose that all mothers be allowed to work from 10am to 4pm, at least until their children enter secondary school. The most common distress of working mothers must be that they cannot be home for their kids as much as possible. Therefore, to be able to work only during the hours when their children are in school must be a great relief. Also, with mothers more involved with their kids, and around the house more, we can expect less juvenile delinquency in the long run.
l Provide for Father’s leave
Of course the looking after of children must not be just the job of the mother. Husbands must be made to do their part as a parent too. Men must be able to take leave from their work to look after their children. Fathers must be able to do whatever (if not better) a mother can do (besides breast-feeding, of course). Better still, instead of giving 4 months maternity leave all to the mother, I suggest to give half of it to the father as paternity leave. Let’s be frank, most employers are not happy when a female staff has to go on 4 months paid maternity leave. Which employer will not prejudiced against a married woman in a job interview? So, if men are required to take 2 months paternity leave when his child is born, then the prejudice against married women is gone! This is the ultimate equality for a woman!
On the other hand, if a woman decides to devote all her time to her child/children by being a stay-home mother, what can society as a whole do to support her? For one, stop thinking that she is ‘free’ and has lots of time to spare. More often than not, society sees a full-time housewife as someone who takes her life easy, has little stress, a lot of free time and can afford to watch a lot of TV at home.
I beg to differ. Stay-home moms are not ‘tai-tais’ (except for those who are really REALLY rich), we are the maid cum nanny. We wake up early to prepare breakfast for our husband and children, we clean up the house, do the laundry, do marketing, cook and monitor our kids’ homework. Since we are at home most of the time, our husband and children expect us to clean and wash more, cook better, and do a lot of extra things that a working mother cannot afford to do. People expect us to spend quality time with our children. Schools expect us to contribute more of our time in schools’ events since we are ‘not working’. Our siblings expect us to be the one to look after our old parents since we are ‘not working’. Family members expect us to be the one running errands since we are ‘not working’. At the end of the day, a full-time housewife just does not have much time left for anything else. We feel guilty when we take a break to watch TV; we feel guilty when we go lunch with friends; we feel guilty when we fall ill and have to lie in bed for a day or two.
So, society please, a full-time housewife/a stay-home mother IS working. We have stress too. We are tired too. We need a rest too. Stop thinking that a working mother is having the time of her life. She is not.
l Pay housewife salary
When a mother chooses to stay at home to look after her children, she is foregoing a lot in terms of monetary rewards, career, and social life. Her most productive years biologically, are also her most productive years economically. She is missing out a lot by choosing to stay home. There is not much of a social life too, not unless a whole bunch of her friends are stay-home mothers too. A woman, not working, will have to depend on her husband for all her expenses. She will have to cut down on personal expenditures. A salon visit; a new dress; cosmetics; lunch out with friends, personal items and recreations are now courtesy of her husband.
A financially dependent woman is a helpless woman. Therefore, I propose paying stay-home mothers a salary to keep the balance between a husband and wife healthy. Let’s devise a system where we can transfer a portion of the husband’s salary into the wife’s bank account. He will have to pay for a maid anyway if his wife goes to work. Let the government pick up the rest of the tab. Stay home mothers are effectively helping society by keeping juvenile delinquency in check. Instead of paying baby bonuses, the government should pay stay-home mothers for looking after their children.
l Re-training
When these stay-home mothers are able to join the workforce again at an older age, society must offer more support for them. Providing subsidized re-training programs is one way. Companies must be encouraged to take on these ‘older workers’. The tax bracket for these workers could be lowered. Staying at home for a number of years should not handicap a woman.
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